Buildings Tumble

Waking up is hard to do when no one loves you

Years pass by, that's something you have gotten used to

Some of us are dumb and blind and out of our minds

Walking passed each day through fields of land mines

Let the weak say I am strong

Let yourself say I was wrong

Let your heart move on

Let your heart move on

Wipe the drool up off your face and make your plans

The prison where you hang your head missed your demands

It's highly time, throw down your wine, put foolish things away

Don't forget, prepare your set, be true to your own way

Do you find yourself from day to day

Staring at a stranger's face?

As you find yourself to your dismay

Looking into your own face

-MxPx, Buldings Tumble

What If's

I still have a lot of "what if's" running through my head like two year old children unsupervised at a trailor park...

You give me answers in unexpected ways
answers that I have yearned for
are on the doorstep of my mind
answers seeked for almost a year, here
the leaves are changing colors now
soon they will fall
each leaf has a message
like the page of a book

the answer landed on my doorstep like a leaf falling from a tree
so brown and old it was
like I had seen it all along, but ignored it
but now I know for sure
the answer was not what I wanted
but none the less, here it is


Now that the answer is here
comes the hard part
the decision
what the heart wants, the heart wants
the deep desires of my heart, I'm scared to look and see what I may find

Strange calmness for such a situation
feeling resassurence from Father God
He holds his arm's open wide to hold me
He will wipe away my tears
He will love me always
only in Him will my questions ever be answered...

Wonderful Day..

there is no condmnation for those who are in christ Jesus. And praise God you are the righteousness of God because of what Christ did on that tree. Nothing you can do can take away your righteousness. He wants to be with you so get over yourself when you sin and just realize that he's freakin huge and can cover everything. Stop feeling so bad for yourself and realize that the price has already been paid for whatever you did. He wants you but you get in the way because you think that you are too terrible of a person to have a relationship with him. get over yourself.

-Jacob

I stole this from my friend Jacob's away message on AIM. It was too cool for words!!!, so low and behold, I publish it!!! I have almost NO VOICE today! I worked a double and had to train someone today. Thank God she picked up quick, becuase I did not have the voice to welcom people to chili's and make small talk with them....I saw Chanel at work, who hoo!!! It was a good day at work, and that's saying something considering I worked a double, and am very sick. Praise Jesus for loving me when I am unlovable!!! :o)

Someday she'll trust and learn how to see him, some day He'll call her and she will come running, and she'll fall in His arms the tears will fall she'll pray, I want to fall in love with You....

Jars of Clay, Love song for a Saviour...

Surrender...

Lord I close my eyes
I lift my hands towards You
I sing your praises
I beg for your mercy
I thank you my Savior
I thank you for your forgiveness

All the things things on this earth are fleeting
These vanaties are merely distractions
They won't matter after I die
You Lord, You will matter

Thank you Lord for letting me see
Thank you for taking the blinders off my eyes
Thank you for loving me when I was unlovable
Your mercy
Your truth
Your Love
Take my life Jesus
Use me
Make my heart clean




You know, when you think everything is going all right? When the everyday routines start to sound just like every other day, God will say, "Hey April, What have you done for Me lately?". Well, the truth of the matter, is well NADA!!! Have I been reading the bible much? No, not really. Have I been praying daily? Nope, not even close. Have I been close with God lately? Nope. "Well April, that's about to change." Whats that verse in the bible that talks about people proclaming God, but not really knowing Him? In Revelations, it says that if you are Lukewarm, God will vomit you out of His mouth. I don't know about you, but I sure don't want to be thrown up!!! I'm sick of mediocrity. It gets you NO WHERE! When you decide to settle for something in your life, your in for TROUBLE! I settled when it came to marriage. Look how that turned out!

Revelation 3:16 - So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.

Divorce, a Computer, and Chili's...

Now that I've got your attention, Here goes my current situations...

I have , by the Grace of God, become comfterable with divorce. It's totally God, because I don't want to BE DIVORCED AT 21!!!

My brother is so awesome!!! He is building me a computer!!! For like 400 bucks!! I am paying him as he goes along. I am so excited!!! When he finishes my computer, I am starting graphic art school!!! WHO HOO!!!!

My job is ok...I don't hate it, but I sure don't look foward going to work everyday, lol. I have been thinking about moving back to my parents house in Hendersonville(near Nashville). There I would have no rent, basicly no bills. I could work, go to school, and save up money to get my divorce...Not to mention save money in general...Seems like a good trade off. I can always transfer to another Chili's. There are two near my parents house. Or, I could go back to my last job at The Terrace at Bluegrass(an assisted living) which I absolutly loved. They told me I could come back any time. This is a big deal to me!!! I miss my old people.

I am excited to be going to Chi Alpha again tonight!!! Who hoo!! It was totally awesome last week. I am really looking foward to it tonight! I could not go on Sunday because I was out of town...

Chi Alpha...

I went to Chi Alpha tonight!!! It was so awesome!!! :oD . I am sooo glad I went!!! Jo Nate talked about relationship with God. To build a firm foundation with God, we must have deep roots. To start making the foundation, we must let Him till our heart and get all the dry rock out of the way. He then will fill it with good strong rock so our foundation will stand firm. To be intimate with God, we must first become vunerable. We must realize that before God we are naked. He know's everything about us. No secrets are hidden from Him who created us.

blah!!!

Stupid cats!!! So I get up at 5 am to go to the bathroom...HUGE MISTAKE!!! The cat kept waking me up!!! I wish he could just be quiet!!! grrrr!!!! I'm so tired... Oh, and I've tried for the umpteenth time to upload those pictures from burgess falls. So if you want to see them, copy and paste the url, cause that's the only way its going to work!!! blah!!!!! Well, at least it's just morning, things should go up from here!!!HOPEFULLY!!!

Timebomb Ticking...

• Ticking slowly
  the alarm is set
  it will go off
  just not yet
  no one know's the consequences
  but believe that they are there
  actions do speak
  words do sleep
  time does not stand still
• it never has
• time has a funny way of sneaking up on us
• then our world turns cold and grey
• be aware of what's going on around you
• don't fall asleep at the wheel
• you never know when your going to come to a fall
• above all else
• guard your heart

Burgess Falls October 2

[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v449/rosebymoonlight/burgessfalls031.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v449/rosebymoonlight/burgessfalls013.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v449/rosebymoonlight/burgessfalls004.jpg[/IMG]

• somber moments
• broken heart
• what's the answer
• how long till I know?
• if only someone knew the answer
• would they tell me?
• I want a band-aid for my broken heart
• to put the pieces back together
• too bad there' s no such thing.
  

Changes to Autumn...

• leaves falling
• crispness to the air
• sun on my face
• beautiful calmness
• serene quiet
• a day of rest
• clearness of thoughts
• refreshing to be here
• time heals wounds
• But God heals hearts

sometimes we have to...

• sometimes we have to run into a wall
• to see the truth
• yes it hurts
• no it's not easy
• but it only makes us stronger
• people come into our lives
• almost as quick as they leave
• blessings in disguise
• a chance meeting in a store
• a smile that can melt a heart of stone
• eyes that twinkle with happiness
• a handshake clammy
• a proper meeting
• i have my smile back
• and i am happy
• and relieved
• the world is ok again
• tommrow will be a better day
• the next day will be even better