everythings going to be allright...

Don't worry keep your head up, you can get up again, and be strong....

I can wish all I want, but I know it's better that we are separated right now. I truly do love him, it's just that I don't think he really know's what love is. That's just something I'm gonna have to accept. There's nothing I Can do about it. It's in God's hands now. So whatever happens, it's gonna be allright.......

Just another day in Chiliville...

Just another day at work, but oh so much better!!! I did not go to bed till 2 am. I had to get up at 6:30. The good news is that it was for a test. The test was for a MUCH BETTER job! The job I'm going to interview for pays 11 an hour plus incentives :o). There was nothing today that could have made it a bad day for me!!! It was awesome! :o)




I am really unsure about divorce right now. I made a commitment to my husband before God. I did not take my vow's lightly even though he may have...
I wish I had the answer.......

Your Return?....

Just another day. Work was well, work. Very boring. Same old same old.

I'm just wishing that this was easier. Today at work this girl, who just got married, was telling a waitress about her wedding vows. I startred thinking about my wedding vows. I had to walk away from them for fear of crying. It seems as though, I was the only one in my marriage holding to them. I'm in such a state of not knowing at this point. All I know is that my husbands sister told me he had "moved on". Whatever that entails, I know not.

LOVE IS SO MUCH HARDER THAN IT SEEMS!!!

I wish I did. I feel so misunderstood. It's not that no one understands me, it's just that no one but God know's exactly where I'm coming from. I know that should be enough to keep me satisfied, but it's just not right now. It needs to be however.

won't these emotions end?

won't they go away?

please dear God, take them from me.

i'm sick of feeling this way.

it's not who i am.

i am not a broken heart walking around this earth.

i am a child of God Almighty.

i am a believer in Christ Jesus.

He is my Lord and Savior.

so i will hold tight to Him who hold's tight to me...

Today was better

Today was signifigently better than yesterday. We all slept in :o( and missed church :o(. I really REALLY wanted to go! But we went to this beautiful place called Cummins Falls. It was so awesome!!! God showed me how he makes things so absolutly beautiful yet again.
Later on, we went to eat at Chili's. Of course we got a discout, yay for working there. I have to get something out of working at such an um....great? place... Anyways, I'm just glad that today was better than yesterday, Yay God!!! :o)

There are times in your life when everything just comes to a screeching hault...Tonight happened to be one of these moments. When I thought I had come so far and had moved on more than I thought I could, I start missing him(my husband).

I called his mom, she's as crazy as ever, but lovable, and yet so two faced. I called his dad, he's getting old...His mind is slipping. Yeah, they'd heard from him, only trying to get fundage from them, as usual. You'd think by the time you are 30, you would not have to always rely on your mommy and daddy for help. I found Janice's e-mail today(my husbands sister) I will put our e-mails below.

Janice, I know that you don't want to have anything to do with me. I'm nottotally sure why, but please know that I do love your brother very much. Ihave no idea where he is, or if he's allright. I don't know if you are incontact with him or not, but if you are, please please please , if youwould maybe let him know he can contact me via e-mail? Thank you.

-April

(response)

I know what happened when you were at Lois's house(my mother in law) and you done what you felt you needed to do for whatever reasons.But fact is April I choose not to be any part of bull**** that goes on within the family. I do not go around and make trouble for others and refuse to associate with those that do. You may think I am being a hypocrite because of some statements I've made but those were my opinions voiced in my own home. I wish you all the happiness in the world and have no hard feelings, I just choose not to be involved in the drama. Dale is doing fine and is going on with his life which I think you should do. Both of you were miserable together, don't mistake loneliness for love is the best advice I can give you.Best wishes,

Janice


Previously I tried to speak to Janice, she hung up the phone on me promptly before saying anything. The second, and last(a few months ago) She stated she was busy and could not talk. Mind you, she had not heard from me for some months at that point. I must also point out that this is the woman who told me a year ago, that he loved me and I should take him back after I had left him before.

I've not an idea yet of how I am going to respond. Maybe I won't respond at all...Prolly not. I'm too much of a big mouth...

Me, Myself, and I

....................................
Hi...I'm April. I live in Tennessee. I have a cat. I am 21. I have red hair. I HAVE A LOT TO SAY!!!

This is me

This is my husband. (it's his mugshot)


For now, that's all you need to know about me...